When it comes to money, few couples are perfect soul mates. 

In your relationship, is one person a saver and the other a spender? Is one of you more conservative and the other a risk-taker? 

Conversations about money can easily turn into arguments, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Together, you can create a system for handling finances that will make you both happy. Here’s how.

Five secrets of a financially happy relationship

1. Agree to disagree about some things

There’s room for more than one attitude about money in a relationship. Recognize that both of your viewpoints are valid. You don’t have to see eye-to-eye on everything, but it’s essential to respect your partner’s feelings about money. Otherwise, you won’t be able to come up with a plan you’re both comfortable with.

If the saver’s happiness depends on feeling financially secure and the spender’s happiness depends on feeling free to enjoy life, earmark some money every month for both savings and fun purchases. Establish common ground by identifying the important financial goals you can agree on: funding retirement, paying for college, taking an annual vacation, etc.

2. Keep multiple accounts

No matter how close you are, allow some space for individual independence. Have a little money you can spend or save — without consulting each other. It may be good for each of you to have one account in your own name, even if you maintain joint checking and savings accounts for household expenses, and for long-term goals like retirement and college.

It’s also prudent for each of you to establish your own credit record; otherwise, you may find it difficult to borrow independently. So keep one credit card that’s in your name only, even if you use a joint credit card for your household purchases.

3. Share the bills

Find a system for paying bills that feels fair to both of you. Some couples pay their household bills from a joint account to which both partners contribute. Others divide the bills, with each partner paying their share from their individual accounts.

It’s also important to make sure the division of bills is fair and equitable for both partners. For example, if one of you earns $75,000 a year and the other earns $25,000, consider dividing your shared expenses proportionately. The one who makes three-fourths of the household income can pay for three-fourths of the bills, and the one who makes one-fourth of the income can pay one-fourth of the bills.

If that feels like it’s getting too into the weeds, having a joint account might be a better bet for you. Once you decide how much you’ll each contribute to your joint account every month, you can put your bills on autopilot so it isn’t a constant source of friction.

4. Invest as a team

If you and your partner each have a workplace retirement savings plan, sit down together and decide on a portfolio mix that uses both plans’ investment options. Once you’ve agreed on an overall allocation — say, 30% U.S. stocks, 15% international stocks, 50% bonds, 5% real estate/alternatives — implement your strategy by picking the best-performing funds from each plan.

When it comes to tax-advantaged retirement accounts, like your 401(k)s, one of you might also have access to more employer matching funds than the other. Don’t let monthly bills keep you from maximizing your retirement plan. Work together to make sure you’re capturing that free cash as a couple and setting your retirement goals together.

5. Communicate (and keep communicating)

This sounds easier than it sometimes is. Most couples are so busy working, raising children, chasing short-term goals, and running a household that they hardly have time to talk to each other. You may have to go out of your way to schedule a conversation about your finances, even twice a year. Still, don’t put it off. Treat those conversations like important, work-related appointments you need to keep.

Discuss whatever is on your mind, including your household budget, retirement portfolio, vacation expenses, and college funding for children. Plan to have these conversations in as relaxed an atmosphere as possible — it’s important to do it in a calm, focused environment. 

At the end of the day, committed relationships are financial partnerships — and like any successful partnership of equals, they depend on compromise and mutual cooperation.